The Musings of Some Guy

WA: Wendy’s Anonymous

Posted in Humor by J.D. on June 19, 2010

Get bent, Wendy.

“I just couldn’t do it. It was too powerful. It had power over my life and I couldn’t get away from it. I sacrificed everything for it and it took my life away. My friends, family, everyone. I didn’t care about them at all. It was all just about getting my next fix.”

I hear that alot. Just about all the time. In fact, there isn’t much you couldn’t put in front of the word Anonymous. Addiction is a huge ordeal that has affected one of us or someone we know.

I now humbly add to the mix Wendy’s Anonymous.

It’s getting bad, people. Last Sunday I had a craving for a Frosty and my self-discipline to diet went out the window. The Double Stack calls my name daily. It might as well say “heart attack” after saying my name, but since I’m an addict all I care about is that it wants me and it wants to eat my soul.

No longer.

I will not be haunted by the redhead Wendy and her square-patty seduction.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you the 5 Steps to Wendy’s Sobriety.

  1. We admit that we are powerless over Wendy’s.
  2. We  came to believe that any food the Thomas family sells can only lead to insanity.
  3. We will make a fearless attempt to count all the calories we ingested by eating Wendy’s.
  4. Make direct attempts to lose all these calories by fasting, dieting, and/or exercising them away.
  5. Educate those about the dangers of Wendy’s and the disastrous effect on our lives…and our colons.

I’m collecting my one week chip on Sunday.

What are you doing to maintain your Wendy’s sobriety?